Jesus on Sex

Jesus on Sex.

Sex permeates our culture. It’s everywhere. Commercials, music, magazines at the grocery store checkout – everywhere I look there is a sex appeal. People talk about sex all the time. Sexual orientations, sexual identity, and the expectations for sex within dating relationships are common topics to see in the newspaper or to discuss over lunch.

At the same time, Christians tend to have a real hard time talking about sex in church. It’s taboo, no? Jesus didn’t shy away from the issue. As I get into what he had to say, you may expect a list of rules. Surprisingly, Jesus wasn’t real hung up on the rules – “Don’t do this, abstain from that, never go there, always do this first…” He was far more concerned with people following HIM than people following RULES for sex.

1. Jesus addresses sexual design.

See Matthew 19:3-12.

Sex was created by God with an intended design. Pointing back to the creation story in Genesis 1-2, Jesus defines sex as the consummation of a lifelong, heterosexual, monogamous, covenantal marriage. That may sound restrictive, but Jesus never enforces that design on anyone who is not a God-follower. The first decision we have to make is this: Am I going to follow Jesus? After we make that decision, we have to deal with this second question: Am I going to follow Jesus with my whole heart, my whole mind, and my whole body, or am I going to follow Jesus with only my heart and pretend that my mind and body have nothing to do with it?

2. Jesus addresses sexual desire.

See Matthew 15:10-20; 5:27-32.

Jesus makes it clear that what is going on in our heart affects what happens in our mind and body. “Adultery and sexual immorality,” he says, “come out of your heart.” You may be wondering: Why is sex such a big deal to God? Jesus asks a different question: Why is sex such a big deal to mankind? Why is sex appeal used to sell everything from iPhones, to kitchen appliances, to cheeseburgers? Why do people throw away their careers over a one-time fling or by surfing porn at work? We have been wired for intimacy. That is our true desire. But when we shortchange God’s design for sex it can come to bite us.

3. Jesus addresses sexual deviation.

See John 4:16-26; 7:53-8:11; Luke 7:36-50; 15:13-32.

By “deviation” I mean anything that contradicts the “design” from point #1. Truth be told, most of us have deviated from the design because of our desires. Wrestling with your sexual identity or orientation is rough. Battling a porn addiction is hard. Starting a new marriage, or ending one, is difficult. Dating and dealing with the pressures of what is sexually expected in today’s culture is confusing. Watching your grown children make their own sexual decisions can be heartbreaking. How did Jesus speak to those who abandoned God’s sex design?
  • As for the cohabitating woman at the well, she was invited to follow Jesus. 
  • As for the woman caught in adultery, she was invited to follow Jesus. 
  • As for the rule follower who boasted of keeping the 7th commandment, he was invited to follow Jesus. 
  • As for the prodigal who wasted his father’s inheritance on prostitutes, he was invited back to the father.

So if you are committed to follow Jesus, this is the question you need to answer: Am I going to follow Jesus with my whole heart, my whole mind, and my whole body, or am I going to follow Jesus with only my heart and pretend that my mind and body have nothing to do with it?

Upcoming Posts.

For the next few weeks I’ll be writing about the following topics. Subscribe by putting your email in the “subscribe” box at the top right of this screen.
  • Sex in America today 
  • How pornography is affecting us 
  • Tips on talking to your kids about sex 
  • Christian dating in a world of apps

Additional resources.

If you would like to read or see more on the topics below, I’ve listed some suggested resources from Hershey Free’s staff.

Pornography and wrestling with lust

  • If you live near Hershey and would like to learn about Hershey Free’s pornography accountability group you can send a confidential email to
  • To read statistics and learn about the negative effects of pornography on consumers and culture at large, I highly recommend The Social Costs of Pornography
  • For guys battling the everyday fight to keep their eyes and minds pure, a helpful book is Every Man’s Battle
  • A good website to check out is

Teaching your children and teens about sex

Sex for adults

  • Andy Stanley’s four-part series on YouTube is helpful to hear: Sex, Love, and Dating
  • Jon Tyson has four sermons on sex available on YouTube that may be helpful to think through in his church’s series, Controversial Jesus
  • The book Premarital Sex in America is an eye-opening study of the sexual habits of young adults today. 
  • The book Divine Sex explains a Christian view of sex.