The Anxious Generation
By Jonathan Haidt299 pages (385 with references)
Sadly, the young adults and adolescents of our day are an anxious generation. The research is indisputable: young people are more lonely, more anxious, more depressed, while also less confident, less social, and less rested than ever before in modern history. In his latest book, The Anxious Generation, Jonathan Haidt makes a compelling case for both the cause and solution.
Why is this happening? Haidt points to two factors: The Great Rewiring and Overprotection. The author writes, “My central claim in this book is that these two trends - overprotection in the real world and underprotection in the virtual world - are the major reasons why children born after 1995 became the anxious generation.” (9)
The Great Rewiring
Children raised in today’s world are growing up with a “phone-based childhood,” contrasted with a “play-based childhood” (7). While the reward-seeking parts of the brain are still maturing - the parts essential for self-control, delay of gratification, resistance to temptation - children are inundated by technology and social media. This makes them especially vulnerable to peer pressure, needy for social validation, and insecure about their social standing (5). They also suffer from social deprivation (120), sleep deprivation (123), attention fragmentation (125), and addiction (129).The amount of time adolescents spend on media these days is staggering. Those with a social media account spend two hours per day on social media and nearly seven hours a day on screen media (34). This includes only leisure time and not educational media. Many are spending so much time on social media, the hours are equivalent to a full time job (151)! Even indirectly, however, teens who do not own a phone or have access to social media are suffering because their peers are too glued to technology and the microdramas of the day to interact normally between classes, at lunchtime, or after school (148-149). Social media leads to social disconnection, which leads directly to depression (29).
Social media is harming girls more than boys. Girls fall prey to comparison and perfectionism (153). With the ease of beauty filters, and the constant metrics of “likes” or “hearts,” a girl’s self-esteem is ever in flux. Girls also tend to show aggression in indirect ways, which is prime for social media (158). The author quotes from an essay entitled “Social Media’s Not Just Making Girls Depressed. It’s Making Us Bitchy Too” (160). Girls tend to share their emotions more than boys. While happiness is contagious, depression is more contagious. Lastly, girls are more subject to predation and harassment than boys are online (166). The pressure to share nude pictures (167) and immerse oneself in social media is causing girls great emotional harm (170).
Boys may be affected less intensely, but this Great Rewiring is also hurting the guys. The two biggest factors: pornography and video games. “Heavy porn use can lead boys to choose the easy option for sexual satisfaction rather than trying to engage in the more uncertain and risky dating world” (188). Young men now are less likely to find love and intimacy in the real world due to the ease of virtual attractions. But video games are also causing issues for boys - gaming can become “a means of psychological escape” and “impose a large opportunity cost” because of the sheer amount of hours spent with a controller (191). Guys are choosing networks of unknown people over real-world communities (194), leading to a “friendship recession” (193) and feelings of a meaningless life (195). One powerful analogy Haidt gives derives from the Japanese term Hikikomori (179). The term means “pulling inward” and is used for people who live like hermits, only leaving their habitations at odd hours so as to avoid social contact. To calm their anxiety, many young men are staying inside, remaining safe behind a screen, and are suffering from less competency and more anxiety regarding the real world.
Overprotection
Haidt’s warning to readers is twofold: Today’s children are underprotected online and overprotected in the real world (9). To counteract this overprotection in the real world, the author encourages freeplay and social learning.Parenting strategies changed dramatically in the 1990’s. Parents became more fearful than ever, anxious over kidnapping, sexual abduction, “stranger danger” (85-87). The author calls this paranoia “safetyism,” which is “a culture or belief system in which safety has become a sacred value… safety trumps everything else, no matter how unlikely or trivial the potential danger (89).”
By contrast, kids need to engage in risky play. Play that involves climbing high trees, sliding down fast slides, dangerous (but not fatal) risks, rough-housing, and getting lost helps kids learn real world skills (77). In order to develop socially, cognitively, and emotionally, kids need to practice predator-prey games like tag, hide-and-seek, and sharks and minnows. They need to experience physical risk and get hurt every now and then. This comes from wrestling, knocking sticks together in a sword fight, and falling off a seesaw (52). They need to practice serve-and-return skills by playing clapping games, sports, and singing together (56-57).
While explaining “Discover Mode,” or play that fosters learning and growth, the author shares a powerful illustration. In the 1980’s, scientists ran a biological experiment by creating an artificial ecosystem. Part of the experiment involved growing trees. Unfortunately, “many of the trees… grew rapidly but then fell over before reaching maturity.” Scientists learned that trees need wind and storms to create hardship, forcing roots to grow deeper and wood to compress stronger (72). Likewise, humans need hardship in order to mature; we are “antifragile” creatures (73).
Along with freeplay, kids and teenagers need to engage in frequent social interaction. More time spent face-to-face with friends results in better mental health; more time on screens results in more anxiety and depression (121).
What Should We Do?
The author calls for collective action. Individuals can change behavior; but if a swath of people coordinate a response, we will see better outcomes (222). He shares four sweeping reforms that will help adolescents today (15):- No smartphones before high school.
- No social media before 16.
- Phone-free schools.
- Far more unsupervised play and childhood independence.
Haidt also recommends specific steps for governments, tech companies, schools, and parents to take. He urges governments to raise the “age of internet adulthood” to 16 (234) and to hold tech companies accountable. He also accuses law enforcement of punishing or threatening parents with jail time who give their kids real-world freedom (240).
Accordingly, businesses ought to enforce their own restrictions. Many companies prohibit users under age 13, but have no checks and balances to enforce this. Kids may simply check a box stating they are over 13, without any proof, and obtain access. He writes, “We expect liquor stores to enforce age limits. We should expect the same from tech companies.” Age verification software has made this much easier (235).
Schools are challenged to institute phone-free rules. “Schools should go phone-free for the entirety of the school day” he writes (249). And to build self-confidence and resilience, he calls for more unstructured free play (253), better playgrounds (256ff), and more recess time (242).
Lastly, Haidt shares recommendations for parents. First and foremost, we parents need to be good role models by watching our own technology addictions (269). Second, limit time spent on screens. He gives specific suggestions for noneducational screen time based on a child’s age (271, 277-286). Lastly, parents need to normalize giving kids real-world freedom (272ff). Let kids play after school and allow them freedom to explore the neighborhood or play at local parks unsupervised. He advises that “The cure for such parental anxiety is exposure” to encourage overprotective parents (275).