Two weeks ago I reflected on fifteen years of marriage with my incredible wife. What many folks do not know is what happened the week after our wedding day. After a brief honeymoon on the Blue Ridge Parkway, Anna and I loaded up our Chrysler Concorde (aka. “The boat”) with all our possessions and moved to Salem, Indiana. In December of 2009, at the ripe age of twenty-one, I began my first full-time pastorate.
I have learned a lot of lessons about ministry in the last fifteen years. Many of those lessons were learned through mistakes or winging it. Church ministry, like many professions, is a series of on-the-job-training experiences. You learn as you go! And I still have a lot to learn.
I will be forever grateful for other pastors who have taught me lessons along the way. What follows is a list of pastors and lessons I’ve learned from them over the years. There are many more men and women I could have mentioned; yet for the sake of brevity here are the top fifteen:
#1. Fight the need to be needed (Dave & Phil).JPG)
Many pastors work 50 or more hours per week. Fortunately, this has never been my norm. While I've experienced busy weeks and seasons, I've never consistently worked excessive hours. Such a demanding schedule is unhealthy for both the pastor and the church..JPG)
Most pastors overwork not because they need to, but because they crave recognition. The attention, appreciation, and accolades can be addictive.
Others overwork due to pressure from the congregation. People may demand the initiation of new ministries, the revival of existing ones, and the leadership or participation in numerous other activities. These expectations are unreasonable. Fellow pastors, remember that you are accountable to the Lord and the church board, not to every individual member.
#2. Move at a 3 MPH pace (Eugene)
Eugene Peterson has authored several books on the art of pastoring. One of his works reminds readers that the average walking pace is three miles per hour, the same speed at which Jesus traveled.
We live in a fast-paced world, and the church is adopting social media, live streaming, and other communication technologies. However, pastors must remember to slow down, pay attention to people, and engage in meaningful conversation. The seemingly ordinary hours spent listening to people's stories and discussing God's gradual, transformative work are the heart of pastoring.
#3. It’s easier to steer a moving vehicle than a parked one (Doug)
I once found myself in a difficult ministry situation. I had been mistreated by the church leadership and was unsure whether to leave gracefully or persevere. My partner in ministry, Doug, shared a similar experience.He offered this advice: "It's easier to steer a moving vehicle than a parked one." In other words, I could remain stagnant, waiting for a new opportunity to arise, or I could keep moving forward, diligently discipling the people entrusted to my care while seeking new opportunities. I believe God can steer our lives more effectively when we stay on the road, actively engaged in His work.
#4. Seek a spirit of indifference (Pete)
When we become overly opinionated, decisions made by others can lead to bitterness or disappointment. A pastor with a spirit of indifference can say, "I believe we should do this, but if the Lord guides this church differently, I'm content with that." This is a peaceful perspective to cultivate.
#5. You need good information to make informed decisions (various)
My dad was an engineer, and his blood courses through my veins. I love data to support my ideas, and proof that ministry is effective. However, those who are more emotional and relational than me get uncomfortable when I mention statistics and data. After speaking with several analytical pastors like myself, I have learned a better approach.
People in your church differ greatly when it comes to defining success in ministry. But everyone wants to make wise decisions in ministry. In order to make INFORMed decisions, you need the right INFORMation. This simple phrase has opened the door for me to share data on numbers, attendance, giving, and retention without raising skeptical eyebrows.
#6. Slow and steady wins the race. (Mark)
Mark was my pastor for five highly formative years of my life during graduate school. For nearly three of those years I had the privilege of working with him on staff.Terms like dependability, faithfulness, trustworthiness, selflessness, and integrity come to mind when I think of him. I've never seen Mark overreact or worry visibly about church finances. I've never heard him raise his voice. He rarely seems hurried and doesn't make decisions out of fear or hype. Great pastors are steady, persistent leaders who stay the course and remain faithful to Jesus and their congregation in the daily grind.
#7. Shooting the breeze with people isn’t a waste of time. It’s actually the best use of your time. (George)
Most of my meetings with George begin with an extended discussion about personal matters. We chat about family, weekend plans, books, and other personal topics. He frequently engages in casual conversation with people in the hallway. For George, people always take precedence over tasks.
I've learned from George that casual conversation isn't a waste of time; it's an investment. It's how we build trust and foster relationships. If we don't take the time to connect with people on a personal level, we'll be ineffective leaders.
#8. Evangelism happens best when we go and serve rather than merely inviting people to church. (Phil) 
I grew up in Baptist circles where evangelism was often tied to church events. My mentor, Dr. Phil, challenged this perspective. He suggested two approaches to evangelism: inviting people to church events or serving the community. This simple idea opened my eyes to the potential of outreach beyond the church walls.
We applied this concept by canceling an annual church event and instead volunteered at a nearby school's fundraiser. By running concessions, we engaged with hundreds of people, showcasing our church's care and creating opportunities for connection. This experience proved to be more impactful and less resource-intensive than traditional church events.
#9. Be aware of church politics; but don’t play the political game. (Ray)
Politic are in play with every workplace or organization. There are hidden rules, power players, and unspoken expectations. The same is true in churches. In most churches, the little old lady who sits in the back holds more influence than the elder board and staff combined. It’s her words, her connections, and her history that carry weight.Ray has helped me see many times over that it’s foolish for pastors to operate as though church politics aren’t at play. However, playing the politics game is counterproductive. I’m not a mafia boss; I’m a servant of Jesus Christ and an equipper of his church.
#10. Pastoring is more than a career; it's a calling. (Doug)
Doug was my youth pastor from seventh grade to graduation. I observed him like a hawk, asked him endless difficult theology questions, and spent countless hours with the man. He and his family built a foundation in me to follow Jesus, love my wife, raise a family, and pastor God's church. 
Doug has been a reference for me a few times while candidating for a pastorate. He has shown me many times that church work is not a series of career steps or a process of building a resume. It is a calling.
#11. It’s OK to rest. (Roger)
Roger, my hardworking father-in-law, has taught me a valuable lesson: the importance of rest. Despite his intense work ethic, he understands that rest is essential.Pastoring is fundamentally about relationships, and people often need immediate attention. In my early ministry years, I was overwhelmed by the urgency of people's issues. Roger taught me that I cannot solve years-old problems in a day. Most urgent needs can wait. It's crucial to prioritize time with family, self-care, and rest.
#12. Try stuff before you change stuff. (Larry)
Larry is one of the most innovative pastors I’ve ever met. He shoots straight and speaks candidly. I hitched a ride with him during a seminar and was fascinated by some of his stories.Like many leaders, I constantly generate new ideas. However, only a few prove worthwhile, and most should be discarded. When launching a new idea, there are two approaches: The Immediate Approach: Develop a detailed strategy, present a three-year plan, and announce a new way of doing ministry. Or The Experimental Approach: Simply try it! Announce a two-month trial period. Most people will accept a trial run without complaint. If it succeeds, you've successfully launched your idea. If it fails, you can easily revert to the original method without causing significant disruption.
#13. Family and community involvement is usually greater than church attendance. (Mike)
Mike, an enthusiastic, innovative, and entrepreneurial pastor, has always offered valuable insights. One of his most significant lessons came late one evening in Wyoming. 
He inquired about my church and my approach to shepherding the congregation. A family had missed mid-week programming to attend their son's sports practice. I expressed disappointment over their lack of commitment and sought Mike's advice. Surprisingly, he said, "I understand your concern. However, I see it differently. I'm glad they're spending quality time together as a family and engaging with the community."
I learned a valuable lesson that night. While excessive busyness that hinders church involvement is not ideal, neither is excessive church involvement that neglects family and community.
#14. Trust is gained over years of small things. (Max)
Max was my pastor from my boyhood through college. I didn't interact with him much, but I observed him from afar. Everyone at the church, both staff and attendees, spoke very highly of him. In fact, the people of PBC would have followed that man into the valley of the shadow of death if that's where he said they needed to go.
Through decades of faithful service in small, mundane tasks, Max earned the trust of his congregation. People loved him not because of his preaching, praying, or leadership abilities, but because he was a man of integrity who cared about them and their best interests.
#15. Transitions happen. (Unknown)
I forgot who taught me this, but it definitely makes the top ten: transitions happen.Few things are more discouraging in ministry than seeing someone you depended on or personally discipled walk away from your church. Pastors often take this personally. When it happens, it’s helpful to remember that everyone leaves at some point. People pass away, move, or simply decide to leave. Regardless of the reason, it was inevitable. Instead of dwelling on discouragement, focus on welcoming new members to your church.