Psalm 42 was written during a period of melancholy—what we might call clinical depression today. A friend of mine recently said something profound: The gap between disappointment and depression is hope.
This article is about finding hope when you're depressed.
This isn't a step-by-step approach or "four steps to ending your
depression." Anyone who has suffered from depression knows that's
unrealistic. But this is a message about one step you can take while
looking for hope: learning to talk to yourself.
The Psalmist's Struggle
As a deer pants for flowing streams, so pants my soul for
you, O God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When shall I come and
appear before God? My tears have been my food day and night, while they say to
me all the day long, "Where is your God?" These things I remember, as
I pour out my soul: how I would go with the throng and lead them in procession
to the house of God with glad shouts and songs of praise, a multitude keeping
festival. Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within
me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation. (Psalm 42:1-5)
A Soul in Distress
Six times in this Psalm, the word "soul" is used.
This person's soul is in a bad place. "My soul pants... my soul thirsts...
my soul is in turmoil." Most troubling is this phrase: "My soul is
cast down."
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| "Melancholy" by Albert Gyorgy |
There's a statue titled "Melancholy" that captures
these emotions perfectly. Notice the empty void in the statue's chest, the
crossed arms attempting self-comfort, the slumped shoulders showing defeat, the
shards and pieces that have been chipped away. (Note: The Hebrew phrase
"cast down" literally means "dissolved away.") The statue's
head peers down into its own chest, as if asking, "What's happening?"
This Psalm teaches us to ask our soul three questions.
Question 1: What's Going On in There?
Just like that melancholy statue peering into its own chest,
the psalmist looks into his own soul. The writers aren't just in tune with the
world around them—they're in tune with what's happening inside them.
They accurately name and describe the condition of their soul.
The Panting Soul
Many people misinterpret the "panting" and
"thirsting" in the opening verses as a good thing. The psalmist isn't
saying, "I'm so close to God, I can't get enough!" Rather, he's
saying, "Life is terrible now, and God has disappeared." James Sire
calls this a "profound spiritual dryness." It's like a deer coming to
a stream only to find it dried up.
Pouring Out the Soul
So what do the authors do with this melancholy? Look at
verse 4:
These things I remember, as I pour out my soul...
Think of a puzzle. What's the first thing you do when
putting one together? You pour it out! You dump the whole thing out,
flip over the upside-down pieces, and try to make sense of it all before you
get started. We can do the same thing with our soul - lay all the piece out on the table, spread it out, and, along with God in prayer, try to make sense of your inner world.
The writers are pouring out their soul, asking, "What's
going on here?" They're exploring their emotions, naming their feelings,
describing their soul.
What Is a Soul?
John Ortberg writes:
"We each have an outer life and an inner one. My outer self is the public, visible me. My accomplishments, my work, and my reputation lie there. My inner life is where my secret thoughts and hopes and wishes live. Because my inner life is invisible, it is easy to neglect." (Soulkeeping, p34)
The writers could have written this Psalm differently:
"Life is hard right now because of that, and that, and that"—looking
outward. But their first step is to investigate their own soul.
If you're experiencing depression (or disappointment,
discouragement, or melancholy), one step this Psalm encourages you to take is describing
the condition of your soul:
- Explore
your emotions
- Name
your feelings
- Describe
what you think is going on inside of you
Question 2: Why Do You Feel That Way?
Now we step into verses 5-6, where the writers start
actually talking to themselves. Not just self-reflection, but self-talk.
The Value of Talking to Yourself
Many people in the Bible talk to themselves.
- Jeremiah speaks to his soul: "O my soul, my soul! I am pained in my very heart!" He is saying Soul, I can feel you throbbing in there!
- Deborah tells her soul to "March on; be strong!" when tired from battle.
- Luke 12:19 shares a parable: "I will say to my soul, 'Soul... relax, eat, drink, and be merry.' But Go said to him 'Fool!'" I love how God says Don't talk to yourself that way!
- 1 Corinthians 2:11 reads "Who knows a person's heart except the spirit of that person?" We should be in conversation with our inner selves.
- Several Psalms (13, 42, 62, 103, 104, 116, 146) are written not only as prayers to God but as conversations with one's own soul.
Self-Talk
The most vivid example comes from Psalm 42. The chorus,
repeated throughout, is this:
Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation. (Psalm 42:5, 11; 43:5)
You Already Do This
If talking to yourself sounds strange, let me assure you: you
already do this. "Where did I put my keys... Why am I always losing
stuff... oh, I remember! Wait, they're not here..." We all talk to
ourselves. We rationalize things, weigh decisions, imagine future
conversations, replay old ones.
And you can guide your self-talk. Scripture tells us
to manage our inner dialogue:
- Philippians
4:8 tells us to think about what is true, just, and pure
- Colossians
3:2 tells us to "set our minds" on the right things
- Romans
12:2 tells us to "renew our minds"
We already talk to ourselves, and Scripture tells us what to
talk about!
Four Self-Directed Questions in Psalm 42
In Psalm 42, the writers ask themselves:
- Why
do you feel the way you do? (v.5) – "I know you've lost hope, but
is all hope really lost? Is the catastrophic thinking helpful, or is it
debilitating?"
- Why
are you in turmoil? (v.5) – "I know things are rough right now,
but do you really need to be in turmoil over this? What are you scared of?
What do you think is going to happen?"
- Do
you really believe what others are saying? (v.9-10) – Have you ever
ruminated on something hurtful someone said to you? The writer asks
himself, "Is what they said really true?"
- When
will I appear before God again? (v.2) – "When will I feel close
to God again?!"
This brings us to the last question...
Question 3: Where's God?
In verse 9, the writers ask, "God... why have you
forgotten me?" In verse 4, they remember feeling close to God—remembering
the house of God with glad shouts and songs of praise, a multitude keeping
festival.
Feeling Far from God
Notice where the writers are located in verse 6:
My soul is cast down within me; therefore I remember you from the land of Jordan and of Hermon, from Mount Mizar.
Mount Mizar is in the Hermon Mountain Range in northern
Israel—the furthest possible point from the temple in Jerusalem. The psalmist
is saying, "I feel like I'm as far from God as I can possibly get."
Many of us have felt this way before. Our spiritual life is
dry, we feel far from God, our soul is parched. What do we do when God feels
far away?
When God Feels Distant: A Season of Stretching
John Mark Comer says that all believers will eventually go through a period of feeling distant from God. Even when you're practicing spiritual disciplines—reading Scripture, praying regularly, confessing your sins, involved in community—all believers occasionally hit a wall when they feel distant from God. Even though there's no obvious sin in your life, your relationship with God just feels dry. (See John Mark Comer, The Dark Night of the Soul | Naming Your Stage of Apprenticeship, episode 6, October 14, 2022.)
He calls this the "Dark Night of the Soul"—a
term from medieval monastics. Here's a paraphrase: "The Dark Night of
the Soul is a season in our apprenticeship to Jesus, where He intentionally
takes away—not His presence, but the felt sense of His presence—in order
to do a work of preparation in us for greater levels of intimacy with
God."
He compares it to marriage. When my wife and I first started
dating, we could talk for hours—long walks with deep conversations and sparks
flying. Nowadays, we sometimes go out to eat and say, "What do you want to
talk about? Oh well, we should probably make a grocery list."
If you're sensing distance between yourself and God, and
you're looking for hidden sin or some spiritual act you should have
accomplished, and you find nothing—it could be that God is intentionally being
silent to strengthen your relationship.
It's easy to be in love when the sparks are flying. But when
you choose to love someone even when the fiery emotions aren't there, something
deeper can happen.
What to Do During the Dark Night
I went through a distant season like this once. It lasted over a year. I continued serving God, I stayed the course with spiritual disciplines like bible reading and church engagement. I even searched for hidden sins or reasons why God felt distant. After months of misery, I decided to sit in the silence of it all.
If you feel distant from God and there seems to be no reason why, try this. Samuel prays a famously short prayer in 1 Samuel 3: "Speak Lord, for your servant is listening." Go for walks, sit in silence, or spend time in nature; pray that simple prayer over and over again for as long as it takes. This season won't last forever. I and others will tell you this: one day you will look back and think I wouldn't trade that season for the world.
Conclusion: The Practice of Talking to Yourself
Today we've learned the practice of talking to yourself
through three questions:
Three Questions to Ask Your Soul
1. What's going on in there? (vv. 1-4)
Pour out your soul. Explore and describe your emotions.
2. Why do you feel that way? (vv. 5, 11)
Talk to and listen to your own soul. Ask questions and listen for responses.
3. Where's God? (vv. 6-10)
The writer feels far from God. If you feel that way too, it may be because God
wants to deepen your walk with Him by allowing you to go through a period of
silence.
Whatever season you're in, remember: the gap between disappointment and depression is hope. And that hope is explored in part by talking honestly to your soul and ultimately turning to God, who has never truly left you if you are his child.